New Year Blues

2011 has been…well…weird…
For a start it was a mixture of different experiences. Like a wide range of them.
It all started with my job- my first attempt at making me some kind of life. But as it turns out, life was left outside the entrance of the company the first day I entered office. And when I left work every day, I had to go pick it up from the doorstep. The months were spread out with long days and frustrated situations, and I started realising how very less prepared I had been for this. But as time passed, life got more and more monotonous, and I slowly blended into the homogeneity that my life had turned out to be.
Friends. One reason for life. I met a set of some of the greatest people I’ve ever met till date. There were people among them whose kind I had always avoided all my life. Wonder why. The first few months of my life were full of these people until slowly, they dissolved into their own. The rest of the months had frequent visits and sometimes eventful weekends. But most of the days were normal and quite not at all exciting, which is not a good thing for a guy like me.
As I sat on a hot day (which is any other day in this city I’ve made my nest), I realised I was so close to my dream and yet I’d done nothing about it. I decided, in that moment, to do something about it.
Which I did.
My design classes were one of the highlights of this year. I learnt from very able minds, what my dream was all about. I realised I shared interests and dreams with more people, and being around them made me feel very connected and very much like I belonged. Joining those classes were one of the best decisions I’ve made this year.
Speaking of good decisions, I noticed I’ve always had a love for writing. I realised how soothing writing is to me. And when I sit in front of my PC and start typing in my thoughts they just keep on going (My typing speed has increased considerably.). I now author two blogs almost regularly, and I’m glad there are at least a handful of people who’ve read them. Writing makes me happy, and that has been one of the top realisations this year.
My relationship, which was a pretty long one, ended this year, well, for me. I realised so many factors that judge a relationship and my lessons were long, hard ones. But they helped me grow, as a person and as a lover. That girl meant (and still means) a lot to me. But she’s gone now, and I’ve learnt to accept that. The best lesson I’ve learnt is that in a failed relationship, there’s mostly never one person to blame. It always is the contribution of both people, and in certain, weird cases, a lot of third persons. But when it fails, you should learn to love that person outside that relationship. When you do that, you grow stronger and slowly grow out of it. Love is a beautiful thing. And it is a thing for the blessed.
I made some of the greatest music discoveries this year. The one that tops the list is Adele. I fell in love with her. And I still am. She is one of the most soulful musicians I’ve ever heard. She’s got it all. Her heart flows out of her music. And I love her for that. Other new entries that top my playlist this year are Lady Antebellum, Brad Paisley, Keisha, Kari Jobe and Christina Grimmie. Music has been my oxygen and these people are my favourites this year.
In spite of all this, there was never a stop to the endless days when I felt like picking up my bags and leaving the life I led. But there were a few people, and a few moments, standing at the exit, waiting to give me a reason to drop my bags there and go back to my life. And for that, I’m grateful.
Life has juggled between good and bad. But at the end of it all,
I’ve written a very good exam.
I’ve successfully completed about 30 pieces in my blog and two chapters of a book.
I’ve been a part of a very good team at work.
I’ve made a lot of new friends.
I’ve met two great girls who’ve ignited my belief in the existence of good girls out there.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes and a few very good decisions.
I’ve gotten closer to my family and they understand me a lot better.
I’ve learnt to love my life in all its imperfection.
The end of a year leaves me standing at the edge of the tall cliff that is 2011. The unexplored depth of the sea of life ahead awaits me. But today I can say with full faith and belief.
I’m diving in.
2012. It starts from now. This moment.